Adoption Q&A #8

This is a continuation of this converstaion:

Adoption Q&A #1
Adoption Q&A #2
Adoption Q&A #3
Adoption Q&A #4
Adoption Q&A #5
Adoption Q&A #6
Adoption Q&A #7 

And on to more questions!

How do you feel about adopting transracially?

The idea definitely excites us. We were at a very interesting seminar about adopting transracially and it piqued a lot of interest and questions that we’ve been discussing over the last couple months. We can’t say we don’t care about skin colour or that love is colour blind either because that isn’t a God glorifying statement. He created each person different and he created different colours and shades of skin too. I am 1/32 Shuswap First Nations. My triple-great Grandma was Shuswap. Not enough to be anything but a Scottish Caucasian girl. BC doesn’t place First Nations children with Caucasian families unless there are special circumstances, so we probably won’t have a child of First Nations decent. We would definitely love being a colourful family.

If you adopted transracially would you keep the child’s culture?

Culture, yes. Religion, No. We are Bible believing Christians and we can include cultural things in our family, but not other religious things. We would make an effort to help a child feel connected with their culture in whatever way we could. This is another area where we would definitely be doing our homework and making sure we knew good ways to include culture or language into our everyday life.

You should read this article on why Love is not Colour blind. 

Adoption Q&A #7

This is a continuation of this converstaion:

Adoption Q&A #1
Adoption Q&A #2
Adoption Q&A #3
Adoption Q&A #4
Adoption Q&A #5
Adoption Q&A #6 

And on to more questions!

What about your girls? How will adoption affect them?

This is a big concern for us, for sure. We already have two beautiful little girls and we have a huge responsibility to them. They will have to share more, they will have less one-on-one time with Mk and I, they will have to sacrifice their time and love unconditionally. I really don’t see those as negative things because those are the kind of things that form a character of compassion. Emily is already so excited about adoption and has been for a long time. She’s been telling people about her little brother that will be here soon for years. She even told me he would be “special” and she doesn’t even know that could mean special needs. Look at this picture she drew:

It’s a picture of her and Avery and their little brother! How cute is she!!

We are taking into consideration dangerous issues too like violent tenancies or teenagers who could be sexually inappropriate with our girls. Those are things we really don’t want to bring into our family. We won’t be chasing “what if’s” but we will be very cautious for our girls.

Can you love your adopted children as much as your bio babes?

Love, YES! Be bonded to…not necessarily right away. We don’t expect that the attachment process will go so smoothly like it did with the girls, but we are learning so much about attachment and how to approach it that I am confident we will be on the right track. If you havent read or watched anything by Gordon Neufeld, you need to. I learned so much about parenting transplanted kids and it has hugely impacted how I parent the kiddos that are already here. We will be watching and attending many more seminars from him. His work in the field of attachment is phenomenal.

Adoption Q&A #2

You guys have been adding great questions on the Courtenaymomma Facebook page! Here are some more answers to your questions!

Are you guys adopting internationally or locally? Why?

This is a huge question! So huge, that we went back and forth over it for 2 and 1/2 years before we decided. We both have a heart for adoption and this question is nearly impossible to answer. We are adopting locally (provincially) through the Ministry of children and families.I hope that one day we will adopt internationally too, but this is the choice we feel God has lead us to. We realize the need is huge oversees, but there is a huge need in BC too. There are 1,300 kids waiting to be adopted in BC. The stats say somewhere around 169,000,000 orphans worldwide. That number is staggering. We realize we can’t adopt them all, but every one we do adopt makes a different. These are kids we are talking about not statistics. So, we have prayed about it forever and decided that adopting one of BC’s children is what God wants of us. We feel we are responsible for the children in our back yard who are unparented.

Direct Placement, Adopt or foster to adopt?

We have three different options when it comes to adopting in BC. Part of our decision to adopt has to do with children who are already born and needing families, so that rules out waiting for a baby to be born and direct placement. We are interested in Foster to adopt, but our heart isn’t for a trial run or part time. We are all in. We certainly aren’t closed to the idea of fostering, but adopting is where we want to end up, so that’s what we are working towards.

More Q’s tomorrow!