Conspiracy Theory

Something I thought was funny in school. My imagination isnt normal. Seriously

1. That crappy stuff thats called tofu isn’t tofu its a recycled vomit compound that airlines sell to the grocery story for extra money to fuel there planes.
2. The reason that every thing tastes like chicken is because it is chicken.The manufacturers found a cheap way to mass produce chickens and change their molecular structure to look like many other products, but even when the products structure had been changed the taste still lingers.The other companies couldn’t afford to bring in the real thing because chicken was cheaper.

AZEWS

 

Hey, Thought I’d post this today. Just a shweet recollection of what we thought in high school AND my bestest buddy Leah wrote it. Check her page and see if there is anything different about her now.haha. I have a couple of new OLD flash files too I might post. Just so you can laugh at me.

Azews Fashion Files

Okay…you wanna look cool…just like Courtenay and I do. You have to start by getting rid of all those thoughts of looking sexy and being “in style”!! more people respect people who are original in their clothing. More guys think chicks, who have enough courage to wear somthing that the girl likes instead of what the world likes, are much cooler and have better personality…well any of the cool guys do. Tight pants and skanky clothes aren’t going to get you a respectable guy anyway. GUYS!! Girls don’t like you to look dirty,personally…I like wife beaters and hoodies….crazy thrift store finds or things that are totally hip. Guys have it easy.

GIRLS

okay…want some advise? You CAN be attractive. If you’re a little overweight don’t wear things that show your stomach. It’s good that youre brave enough to but that’s all that’s good about it. I know some sticks that wont even show their flat stomachs. Azews thinks that chicks with baggy pants, hoodies, ball chains, wife beater style tanks, mega bell bottoms, anything weird from value village, body peircings,and hemp necklaces are all rad. Actually anything that you can think of that doesn’t have anything to do with what all the prissy twinks are wearing. (No offence to you girls who like to wear spandex)I mean I like to dress up once in a while but…I get embarressed when I look like everyone else…it shows I’m not original and I follow….BE YOURSELF GIRLS!!

DO
*Be colorful
*Wear our duct tape stuff
*Be yourself
*Try to smile lots
*Wear somthing flattering to your figure
*Wear TONS of crazy jewlery
*Layer nifty clothes (even dresses with pants)
*Proudly show that you have class and not a big @$$
*Wear somthing that brings out your eyes color
*Dye your hair as funky as you’re comfortable with
*State what you believe in
*Peirce anything you want
*Work out

DONT
*Follow that your friends are wearing (get ideas from them..don’t be them)
*Take my advise if you don’t want to
*Pack on the make up..PLEASE!!
*Wear clothes that are going to give you sexual attention. You want to attract guys that will treat you well. Not ones that are going to use you for sex
*BE AFRAID
*Wear those tight black pants that all the girls are wearing and then put a hoodie on…you’re giving punks a bad name here…please…have mercy!
*Wear those big hoop earrings unless you’re REALLY dressing up…come on lets fight against the 80′s movement!
***Complain that you’re fat…if you think you are, then go get some excersize and eat somthing healthy…goodness…girls get a grip!***

GUYS

You people have it easy, well if you’re trying to attract me anyway. I think a guy who dresses like a punk is really cool but my boyfriend has more of a gangster thing going on. I think that there’s a few things that you can do to make things perfect…it doesn’t matter what style you have though. I personally don’t enjoy the cowboy look but some girls (God bless them) do.

DO
*Wear really baggy pants
*Wear our duct tape stuff
*Wear wife beaters (just don’t beat your wives)
*Work on those abs..mmmmm
*Wear necklaces…lots of them…not gold
*Wear anything silver
*Have crazy spikey or curley hair
*Peirce yourself…nipples are cool…and the bottom of your belly button

DONT
*Wear tight jeans
*Wear short jeans
*Wear short shorts
*Wear tight shorts
*Wear spandex…YUCK
*Gel your hair unless you now what you’re doing (most of you don’t)
*Walk like you are really cool…most likely you’re not…you just think you are

Okay…that about wrappes it up. Actually as dumb as I may sound I do know alot about hair, make up, and fashion. So if you’re a cool cat…or a not so cool cat, you can E-mail me and get some Azews advise on any problem you may have. I do know my stuff so try me. Have fun being you. You only live once…once you’re old a grey you may regret that you never dyed your hair blue. Maybe you’ll be rad enough to dye it when you’re 80…I know I will. Anyway all your questions can go to azews@quackquack.com I’m here for you man. I also provide councel to those of you who are stuck in the 80′s (poofy bangs or mullets) or have been stuck in tight jeans for so long that your legs have fallen off.
All my love,
Leah Thomson

Just to show you how cool we were in grade 12.

I put the "Bad" in Badminton.

The internet has a hole. I’m serious. Lets take this back a ways. This whole thing started when my sister got her hair cut into a Mullet. For those of you not familiar with the mullet check out this page. Especially the unfortunullett. Anyways… I digress. back to my sisters mullet. There are no good pictures or even songs to describe my sisters mullet. Luckily it isn’t an unfortunullet because she know she has it and is trying to think of a good way to deal with that. ok so this is where the hole comes in. The only way to describe Roxy’s mullet is to call her Linda from the wedding singer. If you haven’t seen The Wedding Singer you have other problems, but Linda has a serious 80′s mullet. Do you think we can find a picture of Linda anywhere???NO!!! what? There is actually something missing on the internet. What if I was 12 and doing my home work and I asked jeeves what Linda’s mullet looked like. Jeeves would probably freak out and all the planes in the world would crash or something. Someone needs to fix this hole and Roxy’s mullet ASAP or the very world could implode. P.S. “Roxy get out of my Van Halen t-shirt before you jinx the band and they break up!”

As for my daughters cuteness factor… She’s 15 months now and chatty like a choo choo. Her favy thing to say right now is “Rock-a-bye-Be”. So she misses it a bit, its still sooo cute. She grabs her doll and rocks it back and forth. Everything is a baby to her. Its the most common word she uses. “bye bye baby ducky” “bye baby daddy”"baby baby up rock baby daddy”. You get the picture. Morgan taught her to go “ho ha he ha ho” when he says “What does Yoko Ono say? So I taught her to go “uh huh” and put her lip up when I say “What does Elvis say?”. Some times she gets them all confused and when we ask her what daddy says she does Elvis or Yoko. She makes me laugh so hard.

She is just waking up right now. Singing and chatting to herself. She has been teething so badly. We have had several days of endless screaming. Nothing helps. Not Tylenol, not the ice cube in the cloth trick, not gin, nothing. You can even see her teeth. They are so close to the surface. It looks like she has rice stuck to her gums. Man teething would hurt. I am so sick of it and Em only has 2 teeth. grr. Today she was eating peas, but she kept saying poop. She gets things mixed up. haha.

Morgans shift changed this week. His weekends got cut so he started working regular week. It sucks. We are used to having daddy home so much more. Its a big change for us and its only been a few days. Last summer we traveled for 6 weeks. We didnt realize how awesome that was until now. Although it is nice to be in our own house for more than 2 days in a row. We are really hoping to make it out to the lake for a few weekends in August. We were just out there with Nathan and Danielle. We had such a fun time. It was so relaxing. Only the second time We’ve brought friends out to the lake with us. We were stoked that their schedule matched up enough with ours that they could come.

I think she’s up now. Dinner time.

Emily loves her Pasta

Nathan and Danielle at the Falls.

Daddy carrying Emily

Sad Sad

Today I told Morgan that I wanted a pair of Khaki Shorts “AE” style, but he heard me say”I want a pair of khaki shorts 80′s style.” It was funny. 80′s should even get to be called a style it should go down in history with things like the black plague and Chernobyl. I think the only 80′s thing that was cool was….um…oh yeah snap bracelets. Thats it. Even early 90′s is still pretty much 80′s. I’m sad to say I had a mullet. It was an awesome one with full bangs. oh yeah. At least I was little and didn’t pick it, but I guess I lose points because I did pick the mushroom cut. I am officially able to say that I have had other hair cuts longer than I had the mushroom cut for. It was stuck to me for most of my childhood and on in to my adolescent years. Sad Sad.

I made it to girls night for a bit tonight. I took Morgan. I know its weird to bring a guy to girls night, but well thats just the way it worked out. We played Rummy. I lost. Like thats some big surprise. Ive lost games ever since my sister could count past 4. At first we called it beginners luck, but Roxy has the Midas touch for games. With the exception of Monopoly. All you have to do is get a little intense about winning and then suddenly no one will play with you anymore. Sad Sad.

Tonight is night 3 of trying to phase out the baby sleeping bag. Theres seemed to be more tears tonight, but she settled down pretty quickly. It will be good if we can just be done with the sleeping bag. I think that we’ve made it 3 days so we are good to go. Emily spent the morning with Gabriel and Lana. We had a staff meeting so Lana was watching her. Poor Gabe is sick again. he has a cold. Sad Sad.

Gotta Get a Maid.

It rain today. It seldom does that here. I really like it when it rains. Everything smells so fresh and clean. Its fun. I went for a long walk today and listened to my ipod. It was really relaxing, just walking in the rain.

So I got my act together and went to the gym. I did my weigh in and YAY I’m still down 4 pounds this month. It would have been more if it wasn’t for my psycho couple of weeks, but down is still down. It felt good to still be down. I was a bit worried. Maybe its good that I don’t have a scale at home. I’m hoping to get a digital one soon though. I hate the gyms scale is so inaccurate. Drives me crazy. Well so far being back on the health kick isn’t very fun, but at least I’m excited about it again. Makes it easier to work out and say no to left over easter chocolate.

My week is flying by and going no where all at the same time. It feels like Friday, but its Monday. I guess thats a good thing because I have lots to get done this week. We have a youth service on Sunday and a pie/servant auction to do too so there will be plenty to do to get things ready.

Looks like I’m going to get more time to work on my goal of organizing this week because My in-laws are coming for Emily’s birthday and we have to make a bedroom in the basement again. I’m looking forward to getting more done downstairs. It rarely sees me except to do laundry these days. I know I need a maid. Yeah gotta get me one of those. Haha

oh and I found some other old school pics.

Shes at the 30…the 40..and she’s still running!

Today is a super day because I have officially lost 40 lbs since Christmas!! I’m pretty happy about that. Ok no I stoked to the roof. I went to curves today and I wasn’t particularly excited to work out, but once I stepped on the scale I got all excited and worked really hard. Only 14 pounds to go until shopping day. Thats gonna be so fun.
I think Emily is growing again. She always gets so sleepy when she’s growing. Normally her morning nap is only an hour, but today she’s slept for almost 3. Yesterday she had a really long nap too. I like it when she has long naps because she’s always in such a good mood and I get a lot of stuff done. Like blogging.
I am almost all the way through sorting my little kid boxes. Morgan and I sorted them all out yesterday afternoon. We managed to get rid of a lot of silly things and garbage. I find that if you keep something for enough years, even if it is garbage, it becomes sentimental. Like I really need the paper bag I got from the CN tower in grade 10. “Keep the memory, not the clutter”. Maybe I’ve been watching to much mission organization. I think Im going to put together a mini scrap book for each of our trunks. That way special papers and pictures and things can be remembered without just being a pile of misc paper in a box. I keep adding to the list of de-cluttering rules in our house. Here’s what I have so far:
1.No cardboard boxes allowed!
2.Keep the Memory, not the clutter.
3.If you haven’t seen it/used it in the last 2 years is gonzo.
4.If its not mine or yours, whose is it?
5.throw out that, it’s crappy!!
It’s a start anyways. Oh yeah. I found my foreign currency too!! Yay.