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8 Years.

Posted by on September 20, 2011 2 Comments


One of the first pictures of us.

8 years is a relatively short time in life, but it’s how long I’ve been married to Mr. Right. I should say, Mr. Mostly-right because if I’m Mrs. Right, we cant both be right all the time can we. Let’s be realistic now…
On September 20th, 2003 we promised to walk with each other through all of life’s journey until we either die or Jesus comes back. That’s certainly not as cuteseywootsey(technical term) as I imagined it being. This is what I pictured:

Cute aren’t we?!

Its a nice thought to picture walking together with the sun shining down and the birds tweeting in the air(we got married long enough ago that that was the only definition for tweeting). Such a nice thought. Walking together with huge smiles and loveydovey(again…technical term)doe eyes. If you’ve been married for more than about 24hrs, you know thats not the case. Walking together on this journey of life is more like this:

Not us in case you are wondering… 

There’s usually a little more Camo needed. Marriage is hard! Don’t let anyone tell you it isn’t. It definitely has is amazing moments, but it certainly has it share of war moments too. Sometimes with each other, but mostly just with the things you walk through. In our 8 years we’ve walked through some very hard things together. Miscarriage, Post Partum Depression, very early labours that could have ended with stillborn babies, miscommunications, loss of friendships, loss of jobs and places to live, financial hardships and everything in between. We have been hurt as a couple by others and hurt each other too. We are very committed to our relationship and making it work, but we would never have made it this far without Jesus in our lives. Honestly.

Jesus Christ is the reason we still walk together hand in hand through this life. I read yesterday that the christian life is not about a continual staircase of trying to do better and better, but a continual trek back to the foot of the cross. We need Jesus in our lives. He needs to be the center of everything we do. The reason our marriage continues is because I know that I need to ask Jesus to kill my pride and ask for forgiveness instead of demanding that I am right. I need Jesus’s forgiveness in order to forgive Morgan and He the same to forgive me. We aren’t perfect, far from it and thats why we need grace in our lives every day. I pray for our marriage everyday that Christ will give us the strength to become more like him, the wisdom to shut our mouths and only say kind things, and that he would kill our pride so that we dont forget who is in charge in our marriage. Christ is, not us.

When we are 80, we will have been married for 60 years and I hope we look like this.


My Grandparent. Married 60 Years. In love with each other and in love with Jesus. 

Happy Anniversary to my best friend who loves Jesus so much that he continues to forgive me and hold my hand through the hard things in life. I love you Morgan. Here’s to growing old together!

Ephesians 2:8 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—” Thank you Jesus for your Gift of Grace in our lives.

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While they were sleeping…

Posted by on September 7, 2011 1 Comment

I should probably be sleeping too because you see, I am not well. I’m many things, but well isnt one of them. August has been officially written off. Some time in the begining of August I caught a cold, which turned intho an upper respiratory lung infection. No biggy. Round 1 of antibiotics. Score= Cold 1 – Antibodics 0.

Then my cold morphed( because morphing is cool) into pneumonia. Insert * ER, X-Ray, Evil Nebulizer, 2 new puffers, and 1 new antibiotic here*. No biggy. Round 2 of antiboitics. Score= Cold 1.5 – Antiboitics 0.5.

Then I coughed until I puked a few times and tore muscles in my ribcage and broke a rib…No biggy. *insert 2 new pain pills and still finishing antibiotics here*.Round 3 includes serious pain meds. Score = Courtenay is KO(knocked out for non-Nintendo street fighter fans).

# 7 I think!

Don’t worry, I waited until I started to cut back on meds before blogging. If I cant drive, I certainly should blog, who knows what could happen.

P.S. Ribs are more important than you think they are. True Story.Snorkel.

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Note to Self

Posted by on July 14, 2011 2 Comments

-eat breakfast, then coffee

-make your kids watch something other than Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs and they will stop saying MOUSTACHE!

-you should paint something once in a while…other than walls.

-remember when you used to play your guitar?

-finish writing your story already!

-Stop to smell the flowers, but take an allergy pill first.

-Relax, you dont have to figure everything for homeschooling all at once.

-go outside even when there are bugs, it’ll be ok.

-you smell like old spice, buy deodorant.

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Happy Mother’s day

Posted by on May 8, 2011 1 Comment

I have a love/hate relationship with Mothers day. I love how my girls colour pictures for me and how Morgan shows he loves me with cards and little treats. I love hugging my Mommy and telling her thank-you a bazillion times for doing such a great job with me and my sister and for all the times she cleaned up puke and stuff like that. I love that Avery was born on the best Mothers day ever! But theres part of Mothers day thats really hard for me. In 2004 I had a miscarriage on Mothers day weekend. On what would have been my first Mothers day with a baby growing inside of me, I was wrecked. I felt empty and crushed. I have always wanted to have kids. As long as I can remember. So to lose a precious little one was devastating. It was 2 more years before we even had Emily. A long road for me. I read somewhere that the percentages of miscarriages in  first pregnancies is high and then I read that a high percentage of those pregnancies were little boys. So we decided to name, who would have been our son. Isaiah James. He would have been 7 at Christmas this year. I like to think about what he would have been like. I think he would have been particular like his Dad and silly like him Mom. I won’t ever stop missing him, but it doesn’t hurt as bad as it once did and the hope I have of seeing him again makes it easier.  And so Isaiah James, Mommy Loves you and can’t wait to see you again in heaven.

This Mothers Day is no different. Im ecstatic about some news I’ll share with you when I know more. NO not Prego, just news ok! Im hopeful about our future. Im sad because today is a dear friends birthday and she isn’t on this side of heaven to share it with us. I miss her. Im sad because I miss my Grama Jean. She was a wonderful Lady who loved the Lord and she loved us to bits. Im happy that the sound of her laugh and the way she said my name are frozen in my mind and I can hear them easily. I can’t wait to see them in heaven too. Im happy that I have hope for a future in heaven because of Jesus Christ and his sacrifice for me.

So you can see, I have a love/hate relationship with mothers day. Good thing crying and laughing are so similar and that one can often turn in to the other. So Happy Mother’s day to my Mom and Mother-in-Law and Grama K and Gramma Dene and Nanny! You are all so wonderful and I love you very much!

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He is Risen!

Posted by on April 24, 2011 Leave a Comment

You are supposed to respond by saying “He is Risen indeed!” in case you didn’t know the saying. Easter is my favorite holiday of the year. I love christmas and I love my birthday and I have a special place in my heart for International Talk like a Pirate day(september 19th…yarrr).Easter is the best. When I was little it meant that we got days off school and CANDY! I always knew that Easter was important, but its hard to see the importance of Easter when there is CANDY.

Easter is important because my whole life and everything I live for comes from the price Jesus had to pay on the Cross. I had this discussion with someone last week about how we see people. She see’s everyone as good. I can’t see them that way because I know myself too well. I think sometimes I can be a “nice” person, but I am not good. From the day I was born I was a sinner. I have no possible way to stand before a perfect God and say “Im pretty good you know”. I know I’m not and God knows it too. The bible says that the wages of sin is death. For me that means that every time I have sinned from my actions to my inactions, I deserve death. Is that fair? Yes. Is that just? Yes.

Jesus came to earth to fix this massive problem! He lived the life I should have lived because he never sinned. He died the death I should have died. Painful, torturous, brutal death on a cross. He paid the price I could not pay. And then, in God amazing Grace he offered his son as payment for my sin to bring me back into a right relationship with him. WOW. All I can say is WOW. Thank you Jesus for your sacrifice for my life. Thank you for your amazing grace and mercy which you poured out on me while I was still a sinner. Thank you for the life I have in you and the life I will have forever because of your death. Thank you for dying in my place for my sin. I haven’t got anything to give you for that gift and nothing I could do would every repay you, but you have my life and I will serve you for all of it with all of my heart and soul and mind and strength. I love you Lord because you first loved me. Thank you for beating down death and coming back to life so I could have a life with you forever! Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

He is Risen!!!

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My Books!

Posted by on April 22, 2011 Leave a Comment

My books are here!!!

A Thorn in my Pocket by Eustacia Cutler
Road Map to Holland by Jennifer Graf Groneberg
The Connected Child by Karyn Purvis

I’m so excited!! I’ll tell you all about them as I read them!

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Behaviours and Communication.

Posted by on April 13, 2011 1 Comment

Autism Biennial Congress Part 2 -
I think the biggest thing I learned was something I already knew. I learned it in school, but it was great to have it repeated and reinforced in my brain!
Every Behaviour is Communication!

(Gotta love PECS – Picture Exchange Communication System pictures)
Behaviour = Communication

This is true for all children. You would think that I would know that, but sometimes I am completely clueless as to why my kids are going crazy right before bedtime. All they are saying is “I’m tired!”. Or when they are grumpy before lunch and dinner and they are really telling me “I’m Hungry”. Or when Avery starts getting into thing when Im on the phone she is really saying “I need attention!”

Its hard to always think that way, but the majority of the time easy solutions are available, but I dont even notice them! At the conference they talked about the ABC’s: Anticedent, Behaviour, and Consequence.

This is something I learned at school too, but it’s a great reminder to take a look at the behaviour thats happening and figure out why. I’m a big fan of proactive parenting vs. reactive parenting, although some days you couldn’t tell by watching me react to things with my girls.

Here’s a good example of the ABC’s for a behaviour with Emily.

A-Anticedent or what happened before the behaviour – daddy gave Emily a late afternoon snack.

B- Behaviour – At dinner time Emily refuses to eat her dinner claiming she is too full. We have a melt down because Mommy insists a portion of dinner needs to be eaten.Mean mommy. Emily cries and whines and gets sent away from the table

C- Consequence (not the same as punishment, more like what happens after)- Emily doesnt have to eat her dinner. She gets what she wants. Does this make the behaviour go away for next time? Nope!

This isn’t the best example because we don’t usually let Emily get down even is she’s upset. She might have to go calm down and come back, but this is one area she doesn’t get away with it…well usually! Im far from perfect! If you’ve read my blog for even a week, that should be apparent! lol.

Ok so just remember Behaviour is Communication! And try to think of that then next time little sister bites or hits or snuggles and smiles!

 

 

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2011 Autism Biennial Congress

Posted by on April 12, 2011 2 Comments

Wow. Loong Weekend. I spent the weekend with my long time dear friend Leah at the 2011 Autism Biennial Congress. It was a 3 day intense, information filled, emotional rollercoaster of a weekend. I took 18 pages of note! 18! So here I am, at home with the kiddos in bed, trying to process some of what I learned and figure out what to do with that. To start with, I told Morgan everything I could remember that stood out to me. Then Last night we watched Temple Grandin’s Movie, which was awesome! You should see it.

If you aren’t familiar with Temple’s life here is her Wiki article. She is one of the most well know women with Autism. She has lead an incredible life and is very sucessful. She is an incredible woman who speaks about Autism Advocacy often. Plus Clair Danes does an awesome job playing Temple in the movie! Just watch it!

Since I’m on the topic of  Temple Grandin, I’ll tell you about her Mother too! Eustacia Cutler was at the conference this weekend and I was absolutely blown away by her story of raising Temple when she was pushed to choose institutionalization. I seriously cant imagine raising a child when even your own husband disagrees with you. Its a different world we live in today. Well in North America it is. Dont get me started on the institutions in Eastern Europe. I’ll tell you all about those another blog. Im not in the mood for sobbing. lol.

Anyways, back to Eustacia!

She was doing a book signing for her book “A Thorn in My Pocket”. I was sad because they had all sold out! So Leah and I decided we would at least say hello. I was going to thank her for sharing her story and Leah was going to tell Eustacia about how much her book meant to her. So then we got brave and asked if we could have our picture taken with her. She put her arms around us and shared little inspirational nuggets. I’ll let Leah share how she gave Eustacia a bit of an Ah ha moment! It was really special.

So today I got my act together and ordered “A Thorn in my Pocket” from Chapters and I will be eagerly awaiting its arrival! I also ordered ” Road Map to Holland” which is a mothers story of the first few years of Life with her Son who has Down Syndrome and “The Connected Child” Which is a book about adoption and Adoptive Families. I cant wait to do some reading. I dont have to wait too long though because Leah sent me home with 6 books to read! As I process things, you’ll hear more about the conference!

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Tackling PPD

Posted by on September 11, 2009 4 Comments

Photo 106

Avery is going to wake up in a couple minutes, so I’m typing fast. Poor little muffin gets her shots today. I know there are alot of people against immunizations, but I for one, am just fine with them. Yes there are all kinds of things in there that might cause other problems, but today’s kids don’t die of the same diseases that they did a generation ago. so then, today is shots day.

I get to talk to my health nurse about my appointment with Mental Health. YAY for feeling like crap at THAT meeting. I don’t think I blogged about that yet. I know I’m having Post Partum Depression again, so I went to talk to the lady at Mental health. I know I’m not going to beat this very fast if I don’t get help. So I sit down at this meeting and the Lady makes me feel like I’m in the principal’s office. She is basically tells me that I can take drugs if I want to, or I could get counseling if I want to, but they probably wont help. Then she says I new to get better to get better. Bad logic? Yeah! So I left and made my Mom take me for a screamer! Now thats therapy!

Anyways, here I am a couple weeks later feeling a bit better about things, but not looking forward to the “How did your appointment go?” question. I suppose at the same time, the thought that nothing will work for me has made me step up to the plate a bit and deal with the things I can deal with. I know I need to take care of my health in more was than just mentally. I’ve been trying to find ways to fit in time for mental, spiritual, physical, and emotional health.

I’ve made it to spin class two weeks in a row. I started taking the Generations discipleship part-time school. I’m trying to find time to just sit and read a book, so I started the Capricious Monolith Book Club (join it!). and I’m using a Fake Moleskine, “Getting Things Done” system to keep track of the things in my head so I stop forgetting everything.

So this has been a better week. Plus I’m looking forward to next week! Kayaking on Monday and then heading to Loon Lake on Tuesday for our Anniversary week! YAY!

Avery is waking up, so I’d better start my day!

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My Kayaking Adventure

Posted by on July 15, 2009 2 Comments

I think I’m going to have to blog this post in 2 parts today. Avery has her shots in half an hour and I’ll have to get ready to go pretty soon, but I just feel like blogging.

I had the most fantastic day ever on monday!!! A friend for church and a few the youth took me Kayaking! It was one of the most amazing days! It was nice to get away for the day too. Morgan looked after both the girls and I got a day off. Much needed once in a while. I’ve decided to say I earned a day off from all the pumping I had to do for Avery. She enjoyed some quick frozen entrees while I hit the lake. We spent about 6 hours out on the lake. We stopped on this tiny Island for lunch and continued on our way. My friend had a waterproof camera, so she’s getting me some pictures. Maybe even tonight.

DSC03458I know it’s not a Kayak, but at least its a picture I took on a canoeing trip

At the end of the day I even got to try balancing and laying out on the water half out of my Kayak and then half of a roll. They called it a wet exit I think. I wanted to roll the whole way, but I ended up just pulling of the spray skirt and getting out. It was so awesome! Especially after Sunday’s post. I’m really hoping I get to go again another time. I think I could definitely get into Kayaking. The only problems I see are a) the cost of buying Kayaks and b)2 small children don’t kayak well. So I might have to wait a bit to really get into it.

In other news, I’m going to be a guest blogger on The Informal Matriarch. I’ll be blogging on thursdays for the Month of August because the Matriarch herself is brave enough to unplug from the interwebs for the month whole month. I’m looking forward to writing for her. I’m trying to think of good Ideas to blog about. I’ve only ever blogged for me, so I’m not sure what I would write for her blog. Ideas anyone? When I post them, I’ll be sure to link so you can read them too

We are going to Kipp and Georgias wedding tomorrow!! Woot! I’m soo excited. Emily gets to wear her flower girl dress that the flower girl in our wedding wore. I have a cute dress that Aves is going to wear too. I cant wait for tomorrows photographic awesomeness. I on the other hand have no idea what I’m going to wear. I don’t exactly have a dress wardrobe for having just had a baby. So we’ll have to make something up later today. I suppose I should look earlier so that if I can’t come up with anything I could still go to town and look for something. Not that finding something in size “big momma” is easy in this town.

Well I think its time to get read now. I’ll post this later and at least find a pic or 2 that will work until I get the real ones

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