Happy Mother’s day

I have a love/hate relationship with Mothers day. I love how my girls colour pictures for me and how Morgan shows he loves me with cards and little treats. I love hugging my Mommy and telling her thank-you a bazillion times for doing such a great job with me and my sister and for all the times she cleaned up puke and stuff like that. I love that Avery was born on the best Mothers day ever! But theres part of Mothers day thats really hard for me. In 2004 I had a miscarriage on Mothers day weekend. On what would have been my first Mothers day with a baby growing inside of me, I was wrecked. I felt empty and crushed. I have always wanted to have kids. As long as I can remember. So to lose a precious little one was devastating. It was 2 more years before we even had Emily. A long road for me. I read somewhere that the percentages of miscarriages in  first pregnancies is high and then I read that a high percentage of those pregnancies were little boys. So we decided to name, who would have been our son. Isaiah James. He would have been 7 at Christmas this year. I like to think about what he would have been like. I think he would have been particular like his Dad and silly like him Mom. I won’t ever stop missing him, but it doesn’t hurt as bad as it once did and the hope I have of seeing him again makes it easier.  And so Isaiah James, Mommy Loves you and can’t wait to see you again in heaven.

This Mothers Day is no different. Im ecstatic about some news I’ll share with you when I know more. NO not Prego, just news ok! Im hopeful about our future. Im sad because today is a dear friends birthday and she isn’t on this side of heaven to share it with us. I miss her. Im sad because I miss my Grama Jean. She was a wonderful Lady who loved the Lord and she loved us to bits. Im happy that the sound of her laugh and the way she said my name are frozen in my mind and I can hear them easily. I can’t wait to see them in heaven too. Im happy that I have hope for a future in heaven because of Jesus Christ and his sacrifice for me.

So you can see, I have a love/hate relationship with mothers day. Good thing crying and laughing are so similar and that one can often turn in to the other. So Happy Mother’s day to my Mom and Mother-in-Law and Grama K and Gramma Dene and Nanny! You are all so wonderful and I love you very much!